Not so holy...

Sitting in one of the holiest cites in Northern India, Haridwar, I'm feeling far from holy. I slept at my very first Ashram last night that more or less resembled a prison cell. Anyhow, getting back to Jaipur...

My travel mates and I stayed in rather fancy hotel, with a pristine swimming pool and chandeliers the size of small cars. We decided to have our driver pick us up at the crack of dawn the next day to take us to some fort by elephant, so we retired early. I was awoken around 5am or so to what sounded like a dying animal. Only after I pulled out my plush green ear plugs, I realized that what I thought was a dying animal, was in fact loud Muslim chanting that echoed throughout the city. It left a eerie, unnerving feeling in my gut. After eating a buffet breakfast in the confinement of our luxury hotel, we went to the fort. The fort was rather dull and I was bored of the tourist bustle. After the fort, our driver drove us to some other tourist place, a palace or something. I informed my travel mates that I would not be going in and walked off on my own, as they waited in line with their cameras ready. I started walking through the madness. Looking at me as though I was a two headed creature, a large group of school children stopped to take a picture of me. I had a clan of rickshaw drivers and begging mothers holding their infants following me. I just continued walking and found myself in a large Hindu temple. I observed how Hindus prayed and interacted with one another. I thought to myself, this isn't so bad, these are beautiful people. Then two young boys came and stood by me and began asking me questions. At the end of the conversation, the older brother informed me that the temple was closing. I looked around and thought it was odd that no one else seemed to be leaving, but ignorantly I walked out of the Temple. I began walking back to the palace, when the older brother came by on his bike and asked if I wanted a ride. I replied, "No thanks, I have no money and I'm not going far." He told me not to worry that he didn't want money. Stupid me, got on the back of his bike and he started to peddle, as his little brother ran after us. He stopped close to the palace on a semi deserted street. (Mom and Pops, you might want to skip this part) I was appalled when I began walking towards the Palace and the older brother cramped my space and said to me, "Let me fuck you in that Temple." I said "No!" He tried pushing me and I took his scrawny ass and slammed him against a wall. I continued onward without turning around. What a little shit I thought to myself. I got back to the parking lot to find our wonderful Indian driver, Jodie, sleeping in the van. Shortly after my travel mates emerged from the palace, praising me for not going in. We made our way back to the hotel. At this time one of my travel mates, Nate, was not feeling well. They all decided to take a nap, while I went with Jodie, to a Hindu Monkey Temple. I requested that Jodie walk up to the Temple with me. We arrived at dusk to find the temple covered with monkeys. I followed Jodie, doing as he did. Taking off my shoes, ringing a bell overhead, getting on my knees, and praying in front of the Monkey god. A temple keeper placed a orange dot on my forehead and poured holy water in my palm. I drank the water. Immediately thereafter I could not stop thinking about having worms. Not such a holy experience, when my germophobic mind keeps telling me that I'm gonna have a tapeworm from going barefoot and drinking holy water out of my dirty ass palm... I love India...xoxo...to be continued...
Not so H

Lunges with convenience

I'm in Delhi drinking hot chi out of a dirty cup, while sitting on an ancient computer. I left my friends yesterday to travel solo. I realized that I don't travel like others do. I'd much rather be sexually harassed, sleep in dirty hotels where the front desk help looks like a bunch of criminals, get random knocks on my door at all hours, than stay at the Sheraton. Some might call it self sabotage, but I prefer the road less traveled.

Things simmered down after my friends arrived in Delhi. After picking them up, I took them past the human feces, cows, drug dealers, and burning garbage to my crack hotel, so I could pick up my back pack. They looked at me like I was insane. How could I have suggested that they would want to stay in such a shit hole? Normal, regular human beings would not subject themselves to such low standards. So, we made our way to a safer area of the city and ended up staying in a fancy quest house with its own terrace and living room for $180 a night. I argued that the cost of this room was way out of my budget, but my friend told me not to worry that he would pay for the room. Delirious and sleep deprived I went to sleep. I awoke the next morning to find my travel mates wearing their jogging outfits ready to go for a run. That's when I started questioning their sanity. How were they going to go jogging wearing in their Lulu Lemon work-out outfit past begging, malnourished children?

While my travel mates preformed lunges and sit-ups, I went downstairs to eat breakfast. I was seated at a large table with nice, stereotypical, frat boy Americans, who spoke of beer and fake breasts. I told them about my plans for extensive meditation here in India and one of the guys said, "I'll meditate...haha...on a bottle of whiskey." Understanding of their ignorance, but knew this conversation was headed nowhere, I retreated back to my room shortly after eating my bowl of cereal. I found my travel mates expressing their enthusiasm for the venture ahead, while drinking Indian beer. Interesting I thought, doing squats to drinking beer. They informed me that they had hired a driver to drive us down to Jaipur from Delhi and take us sight seeing for three days. What? We rented a driver to drive us around India in a safe, clean, A/C mini van? What about getting lost, harassed, shoved, and pick-pocketed at the train station?

So, the driver, Jogainder, conveniently picked us up at the guest house and our journey began. Driving from town to town, we observed India safely through the confinement of our A/C mini van. Stopping only at clean tourist-approved rest areas for a bite and tea. After five hours of driving and seeing a handful of dead animals on the road, such as a cow, a couple of dogs, a cat, and a pig, we arrived in Jaipur. Jaipur, known as the "pink city," was no different from the typical madness we had so far seen in India. Hundreds and hundreds of people doing hundreds and hundreds of different things, such as pissing, shitting, begging, and praying...I love India...xoxo...to be continued...

Mommy, am I crazy?

Wow....I met an older Indian man on the airplane that ended up being my father figure during the flight. He bought tea and granola on our layover in London and he had the passenger next to him change seats with me, so I could sit with him. He invited me to a very formal Indian wedding on March 3rd and I happily accepted his invitation. After traveling by air for over 30 hours I finally arrived in Delhi, I found no hotel man waiting to pick me up. I deliriously walked up to the pre-paid taxi line to attempt the trek into Delhi by cab. I carelessly did everything you are warned not to do in all the travel books. I walked out of airport at 6 a.m. and was bombarded by touts offering me this and that. Feeling overwhelmed and slightly lost, I got into a cab that was not assigned to me. The cab driver and another Indian fellow got into the front seat. It dawned on me that this was very dangerous. After thoughts of jumping out of a moving cab and being run over by one of the million rickshaws on the road, the cab dropped me off in one of the worst areas of Delhi. I walked by piles of human waste, cows, burning garbage and entered the first hotel I found. Shady looking men were working the front desk. I got a room for $8 that had no toilet paper and dirty sheets. Smells of cow dung seeped through the open window as I lie there contemplating what I was doing there and whether I had lost my mind. I finally got up and phoned a Indian fellow I had found through my fellowship. I took a rickshaw to meet him. What a lovely man he was. He took me around Delhi and we had coffee. I told him I felt as though I was dreaming and I was concerned for my sanity. Slowly I started to feel better and I was dropped off close to my hotel, so I could attempt the trek back to the airport to try to find my friends that were flying in. I hired a driver, Sanchee. As he drove me in a beat up van in severely congested traffic, I no longer questioned my sanity. I knew I wa insane and just began laughing at the chaotic honking of horns and millions of cars and rickshaws on the road. I made it to the airport. I looked at the 1960's arrivals switchboard, hoping to see that my friends flight had arrived in Delhi and that somehow they could restore me back to sanity. I was concerned when I saw no flight from Hong Kong. I stood there praying and waiting with all the other Indians. Standing there in the same clothes I"d been wearing since I left SF, with frazzled hair, bloodshot eyes, sweaty arm pit stains, with a broken bag in hand. I saw my friends walking out of immigration. I started yelling at them. They mistook me for some crazy lady, until they recognized me. I embraced them and attempted to describe the chaos I had so far experienced, but words cannot describe it...I love India...to be continued...xoxo

Arrival in India - November 21, 2008 4:56:16 AM PST

Just want to let the three of you know I made it to Delhi.  It's crazy here.  I'll write more later.  Love you guys very much.  Mauh xoxo