Not so holy...

Sitting in one of the holiest cites in Northern India, Haridwar, I'm feeling far from holy. I slept at my very first Ashram last night that more or less resembled a prison cell. Anyhow, getting back to Jaipur...

My travel mates and I stayed in rather fancy hotel, with a pristine swimming pool and chandeliers the size of small cars. We decided to have our driver pick us up at the crack of dawn the next day to take us to some fort by elephant, so we retired early. I was awoken around 5am or so to what sounded like a dying animal. Only after I pulled out my plush green ear plugs, I realized that what I thought was a dying animal, was in fact loud Muslim chanting that echoed throughout the city. It left a eerie, unnerving feeling in my gut. After eating a buffet breakfast in the confinement of our luxury hotel, we went to the fort. The fort was rather dull and I was bored of the tourist bustle. After the fort, our driver drove us to some other tourist place, a palace or something. I informed my travel mates that I would not be going in and walked off on my own, as they waited in line with their cameras ready. I started walking through the madness. Looking at me as though I was a two headed creature, a large group of school children stopped to take a picture of me. I had a clan of rickshaw drivers and begging mothers holding their infants following me. I just continued walking and found myself in a large Hindu temple. I observed how Hindus prayed and interacted with one another. I thought to myself, this isn't so bad, these are beautiful people. Then two young boys came and stood by me and began asking me questions. At the end of the conversation, the older brother informed me that the temple was closing. I looked around and thought it was odd that no one else seemed to be leaving, but ignorantly I walked out of the Temple. I began walking back to the palace, when the older brother came by on his bike and asked if I wanted a ride. I replied, "No thanks, I have no money and I'm not going far." He told me not to worry that he didn't want money. Stupid me, got on the back of his bike and he started to peddle, as his little brother ran after us. He stopped close to the palace on a semi deserted street. (Mom and Pops, you might want to skip this part) I was appalled when I began walking towards the Palace and the older brother cramped my space and said to me, "Let me fuck you in that Temple." I said "No!" He tried pushing me and I took his scrawny ass and slammed him against a wall. I continued onward without turning around. What a little shit I thought to myself. I got back to the parking lot to find our wonderful Indian driver, Jodie, sleeping in the van. Shortly after my travel mates emerged from the palace, praising me for not going in. We made our way back to the hotel. At this time one of my travel mates, Nate, was not feeling well. They all decided to take a nap, while I went with Jodie, to a Hindu Monkey Temple. I requested that Jodie walk up to the Temple with me. We arrived at dusk to find the temple covered with monkeys. I followed Jodie, doing as he did. Taking off my shoes, ringing a bell overhead, getting on my knees, and praying in front of the Monkey god. A temple keeper placed a orange dot on my forehead and poured holy water in my palm. I drank the water. Immediately thereafter I could not stop thinking about having worms. Not such a holy experience, when my germophobic mind keeps telling me that I'm gonna have a tapeworm from going barefoot and drinking holy water out of my dirty ass palm... I love India...xoxo...to be continued...
Not so H